growing up...

I sat here today thinking that wouldn't it be wonderful to be out on my own? No curfew, no rules, no parents telling me what to do, how to dress, how to live. Nothing to tell me where to go, who I go with and how I do it. Is that really what growing up is about? Not having anyone tell me what to do or how to act. Growing up isn't just the moment when you leave for college and you take your first step out of your dorm to go explore a campus or you get your first apartment. Growing up was all about getting told what to do when to do it and how to do it, growing up is right now and, honestly, I don't believe that it will ever stop. You will never be "grown up" because you can even see it in your parent's eyes, they are still a teenager at heart and they don't know everything there is to being "grown up." yes as time goes on you gain more responsibility and more trust in people, you get married, you have kids, you get a job, you buy your first house and your first car...but when you actually think about it, your whole if is other people telling you what to do, where to be, how to act and how to live your life that you thought you would have to yourself. If you grew up on your own terms where would you be? If you made yourself who you are by yourself what would become of your personality? So next time I sit down and get angry at people telling me what to do, I will remember that those people telling me what to do, how to do it, and when to do it are the same people that are helping me "grow up" whether I agree or not. Life is about choices. Am I going to make the choice to take what has been taught or do I start over my life how I thought I should have been raised? Either way, my life was influenced on decisions and choices of the other people as well, and when I have little ones of my own I will remember how I felt and also remember my choices effect how a person makes their own choices.

Jaymie's story pt. ??

My mind was going mush after looking at the computer screen for hours waiting and watching for him to possibly come online or even to text me. I was doing homework kind of, but not really paying attention to anything other than my own thoughts that drowned out any thinking process needed for schoolwork.
I jumped when my phone buzzed and I quickly looked to see who it was. Natalie was calling. I quickly answered,
"Hey, what's up?"
"Hey, can you meet me by the park. Like, NOW!"
My heart stood still. Any time she was talking about "the park" I knew it had to do with Jake, my ex. My blood began to boil as I was running through scenarios in my mind.
"Why do I need to meet you at the park, is Jake there?" my voice was stern as I got up from the computer and grabbed my keys and wallet that were laying on my bed.
"I'll explain when you get here, just get here." she hung up.
"CRAP!" I yelled as I ran out the door.
"Jaymie!" mom yelled after me, "Where are you going??" she was following me to the car, I didn't stop I just opened my door and got in. Mom got there and knocked on the window. I shoved my keys into the car and  rolled down the window.
"I'll be back 45 minutes tops, I promise." I said turning the key.  My car roared to life and I put the car in drive.
"Where are you going young lady." She grabbed my wheel and glared at me.
"To meet Natalie. Everything is fine, I will be back I promise." I began to roll up the window and she recoiled her hand from the wheel and sat there dumbfounded.  I jolted forward and I was on my way, not caring to look back or to even glance in the rear view mirrors. I pulled out my phone again and dialed Natalie's number. She didn't pick up and I threw my phone on the seat next to me, growling in frustration. I had no idea what I was getting myself into at the moment but I knew this situation had to do with Jake.
    My phone buzzed and I picked it up. Natalie texted me saying "Where r u??" I pressed call and held the phone to my ear. She didn't answer. I was stopped at a stoplight and sent her a text back, "2 min away." She called me and I picked up, "Whats up."
"OK, so don't get mad, let me explain..."
"Are you with Jake?" I asked sternly.
"I knew you would catch on."
"Well, Duh."
"So, he just asked me to come hook up with him at the park." she paused for my reaction. I didn't say anything so she continued, "And I don't know what to do, I told him I'd be there." I heard her voice start to choke up like she was about to cry while on the flip-side,  I was exploding with rage on the inside. I swallowed hard and sighed.
"This is what you are going to do - Are you there right now?"
"Almost."
"Alright, when you get there, do everything as planned, start making out with him or something. Then I will be there soon and when I show up I am going to come to the car and have a little surprise party. Sound good?"
"I'm here. He's here. Holy crap. Jay, I don't think I can do this..."
"Believe me it will be worth it." My fury was bleeding away into just plain adrenaline; my heart was pounding out of my chest.
"He's coming to my car I have to go!" and she was disconnected. The park was just around the corner and I waited by the curb of the street before I slowly turned into the parking lot with my lights off. I went into the parking lot but kept going around to the other side of the park to park my car away from them. I slowly got out after parking and walked over to Natalie's car. There they were, kissing. She seemed so uncomfortable, I saw her look up and I smiled at her with a glint in my eye. I stood with my arms crossed and kicked the door. Jake broke away and stared at me with wide, scared eyes. We just sat there for a few moments. Me glaring, him peeing his pants and Natalie burying her face in her hands.
               I walked away then without a word. I heard someone get out of a car and get into another one. I heard a car start and then speed away. I didn't bother to look back, not to mention I was trying to hold back my laughter. I heard another car start up and I saw Natalie driving over to where my car was parked. I sped up then to get to her while I burst out laughing.