beginnings

Sometimes things come to an end. Not always are they the best or the most favorite things to allow to happen but they are not only the things that need to happen. The things that make us stronger than who we ever thought we could be. She gazed out the window contemplating her next move. Should she call him back or let it go. Four years of her life she gave him and it all turned out to be a waste. But really was it what everyone would call "failure" and "it doesnt matter anymore" would she let herself believe that it all wasnt true and there really is no such thing as "true love." No matter what other turmoil was going on in her head she knew that he was in her life for a reason and that regretting it would just mean that she was ignoring and horrified at what she became which is the exact opposite of the thoughts running through her mind. She grabbed a pillow off her bed and sat on her window seat, letting tears stream down her face and they seemed like fire on her raw, freezing cheeks. Her mind went many places but the thoughts were all connected, not wanting to forget the past but also wanting to not so much plan her future but know where to begin. Is there actually a love out there that can actually last? Does it come by us with fear or with happiness? Which one is going to hit her because she is visibly tired of the nasty games that ensue around her and her only control is to end it before it gets worse for her and better for him. That doesn't make sence but actually it should. The happiness found in love can only be achieved by a model of the higher power and if only one person in the duo believes that that is the model to live by, the relationship's lasting promise gets jeaprodized. Truth? Possibly. But thinking things over, she wiped her firey cheeks and sniffled as she got up from her windowseat and threw her phone on her bed, and walked out the door.